Fights

Posted by Patrick Corkum on May 6, 2010

Okay, so Melissa thought it would be a good idea to blog about our fighting style (Read it here). Generally speaking she is right on track. She missed a couple things though. Namely that I am always the one that is right .

The funny thing about fights is that they always start with something stupid and insignificant. You know those kinds of things… they’re things like “leaving the bathroom light on”, or “forgetting to take out the trash”, or “leaving your shoes in the wrong place”. It usually stems from something deeper that the stupid thing just pushes to its tipping point.

The type thing that usually is the bubbling problem differs between men and women. And this may sound crazy to some of you, but the REAL underlying problem can usually go back to either the husband or wife not holding up their part in what the Bible says about husband/wife relationships. For instance, from the NIV:

• Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7)
• Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (Eph 5:22, 23)
• Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Eph 5: 24)
• Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25)
• In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Eph 5:28)
• However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself (Eph 5:33a)
• the wife must respect her husband. (Eph 5:33b)
• Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (Col 3:19)

I know… some of you think that those are WAY out there and oppressing to women. I have one thing to say about that… “THEY’RE NOT”. God has ingrained certain characteristics in men and certain characteristics for women. Men, whether they know it or not, seek a woman to submit to them. They have an inherent desire to be respected and submitted to. When that doesn’t happen, many men are going to seek a different situation. Women want little more than to simply be respected and loved.

Anyway, I wanted to add to my wife’s list of fighting rules:

• Be slow to speak and choose your words wisely as you cannot take them back.
• Try to keep the volume low.
• Resolve before you depart or sleep.
• Don’t bring up past misdeeds.
• Always try really hard to remember how much you loved the other before the fight.

Shoot… I was going to try to make this post funny… oh well.. maybe next time.